Soaring Across the Ice
the surface level— and the depths—on skates
I spent the winters of my childhood flying across the ice—
ruddy cheeks and cold nose, sharp metal blades of my well-worn, leather ice skates beneath me.
Ice skating was exhilarating, and something I loved (and love!), particularly on sunny days.
When I think back on my childhood winters— it feels like I spent them on ice.
That’s what we did in the afternoons, and sometimes at night…
And on the weekends.
We ice skated on ponds.
On lakes.
On lowlands beside the river.
And even on tennis courts, the city was gracious enough to flood with water each winter.
It felt like we skated all the time, in winter.
I remember vividly, soaring across the solid surfaces of lakes and ponds—
and thinking about the fish, and all of the dark water, moving beneath me.
I’ve been thinking about all of that in these last couple of months, as I watch the ice form and thaw, and re-form, on the river behind my house.
How it appears solid up top— but then there’s all of this movement— beyond what you can see.
I think it’s a good metaphor for many things in our lives.
Our culture asks us to have these “set” appearances, of who we are.
It asks us to show up as a monolith. A mask. Instagram-perfect.
This singular, professional, put-together, person.
But in reality, a lot is moving “below the surface” in us.
We have all these big feelings, bold dreams, and seemingly “weird” interests and curiosities, that don’t seem to “match” our persona at all.
It feels like it doesn’t “add up” somehow.
And often we beat ourselves up about it— or at least I have.
I used to grapple with this a lot because I always felt called to write.
But then I didn’t think it seemed “professional” as a teacher, and later in my early days as an entrepreneur.
What would people THINK if I showed up authentically?
What would they SAY if I shared what was really on my heart?
Would it jeopardize my employment?
Who would even want to hire me?
It’s tough.
But along the way, nature has helped.
When we look at nature, we see the surface level— and if we zoom out, we can see what’s moving beneath it.
Water under the ice.
Roots branching out below the trees.
The complex interweb of microbes and organisms that makes the plants— and whole ecosystems— thrive.
There’s something on the surface— and something far beyond it.
Nature gave (and gives) me a roadmap for reconciling all of the separate parts of myself—
The part of me that is this professional.
The part of me that’s a writer
And a homesteader and nature-lover
And a person with really big feelings
I’m grateful to have been able to figure out a way to be all of them
and still be able to make a living.
I’m no expert on any of this, by the way,
but here’s what I know…
When we unfold the origami “persona” that our culture asks us to be…
When we hold, with open hearts, the surface level— and the depths— at once…
When we don’t make our complexity “wrong,”
beautiful things happen.
We are able to be more gentle and kind with ourselves.
We can quiet our inner critic that tells us we “should” just be one certain way.
It gives us breathing room.
And with that breathing room, we can move differently in the world…
We can put down masks we’ve held dear,
and follow breadcrumbs
and break molds
and in the process, step into who we— uniquely— are called to be.
Love,
Rhonda Linn
P.S. On December 6, we wrapped up our last Seasonal Seed, which is our 4x-year seasonal immersion.
My logical mind had our next Seasonal Seed on the calendar for mid-January.
I’ve been a little quiet because I’ve been diving deep, writing, and listening as I prepare for this next Seasonal Seed Journey. I am SO excited for what this will be!
And also, I feel called, that it needs to “incubate” just a little bit longer before it’s ready to come into the world.
So I’m sharing that in the spirit of transparency.
That’s what Earthen Jar; Stars is about, ultimately— about leaning into the seasons—and following what we feel called to do— without judgment… even if that doesn’t quite make sense to us yet.
So thanks for walking with me— and witnessing me as I live out “practicing what I preach” …even as my logical mind is throwing a fit about it.
I’ll share the details about our upcoming Seasonal Seed with you shortly. :)